You're a person of action, not words. "Cut first and ask questions about the measurements later" is your motto. Now use this International Date Change Line for what it's meant for: changing dates. The only question is what sort of date are we changing because, sure, this thing can alter the present calendar date, no problem, but there's also your little who-you’re-going-to-the-show-with problem. I didn't want to bring this up earlier because it's sort of awkward, but it's nobody: you’re going with nobody. You might be able to use the International Date Change Line to change that.